What Is DDLG? The Ultimate Beginner’s Guide

What is DDLG? Wonder no more! You’ll learn everything starting from daddy dom, little space terms to rules, punishments, outfits, communities, little girl, and scenes.

Before continuing, I highly suggest you familiarize yourself first with The Glossary of Sex Terms and BDSM Contract so that you will not get left behind.

DDLG—what is it, really?

BDSM is often misunderstood, but so much more DDLG. It gets flak from society because many people don’t really understand what it is.

Is it a kink? Pedophilia? Incest?

That said, we can’t really blame people because DDLG could mean and look different from one person to another. Others only roleplay it for fun, some for healing therapy, while others are age-players who see it as a large part of their identity.

According to a study, BDSM-related fantasies are common in 40 to 70% of both males and females in a study. Twenty percent actually engage in BDSM.

There are many things to know and understand about BDSM, and DDLG is only one of its umbrellas.

Ahh, information load.

Don’t worry, we’ll go deep and wide into DDLG in this article.

Source: The Journal of Sex Research

What Is The Meaning and Definition of DDLG?

DDLG, sometimes stylized as DDlg or DD/LG, stands for Daddy Dom/little girl. It is a dynamic of BDSM relationships in the form of age-play—a kink or fetish where one takes on the role of the caregiver (daddy) and a child (little).

That is by definition. In practice, it is many things. 

Commonly, the daddy takes on the dominant role. But littles could be doms, too, by being “brats” or “princesses.” They could even switch roles.

It could be sexual, but it doesn’t always have to be. Some practice it in private, exclusively in the bedroom, or as part of their daily lives.

Ultimately, it’s a roleplay that involves power exchange and care. IN MANY WAYS. It only really depends on the two consenting adults, making defining it quite challenging.

The 3 Shades of DDLG

DDLG is a great way to spice up your relationship and reignite passion and variety. It could make your love life kinkier and more passionate and bring you and your partner closer together.

DDLG has 50 shades of it, so you can really adjust it to your needs and create your own shade.

Those shades are also the main reason why it’s so so tough to understand the Daddy Dom, Little Girl play.

Some call it in a BDSM context, some play it in an entirely romantic sense.

If you check BDSM books, some authors list over 8 different types of Daddy Doms. 

For the purpose of simplicity, I separate DDLG into 3 shades:

What Does A DDLG Relationship Look Like?

A DDLG relationship is very flexible. It could literally be ANY dynamic both parties agree to. 

For one, some DDLG relationships aren’t sexual. 

They refer to it as “age regression,” “age play,” or “regression therapy.” The little is nurtured and cared for by the caregiver to relieve stress and heal childhood trauma.

Some scenes in DDLG relationships and lifestyles are:

BDSM is pretty common, and it could look different from one person to the next. 

In total, 68.8% of participants say they performed or fantasized about BDSM:

Another study reveals that BDSM practitioners are psychologically healthier and happier than the general population.

Sources: The Journal of Sexual Medicine, The Journal of Sexual Medicine

The Prevalence of a DDLG Relationship

Over 87% engaged in at least 1 of 10 roleplay scenarios. And DDLG is mainly a roleplay scenario.

The same study shows these are the common roleplay scenarios according to women:

“Age play” and “age regression” are terms (and roles) often used in DDLG. Here’s the difference between the two:

Source: The Journal of Sex Research

Different Variations and Specifications of DDLG Relationships

DDLG is only a branch in the big tree of BDSM. It could be confusing, so let’s start from the top.

BDSM is a dynamic of power exchange. It’s SO broad and more than just the bondage and pain-and-pleasure you may be more familiar with.

Under BDSM are more umbrellas, and some of them are:

While they are separate, they’re often connected, and they overlap with each other. 

Still, not everyone into CGL dynamics is into age-play, so they’re still distinct.

CGL is the bigger umbrella which DDLG falls under. But gender and age are fluid in this kink, and it has other variations such as:

DDLG is just the more generic term in CGL relationships and the most common, so we’ll be using that throughout the article to keep it simple.

What Is A “Daddy Dom”?

Often, a Dom is stern. But caregivers are more “softcore” and nurturers. They are authoritative in a way that they want what’s best for the littles. So some may not even be “dominant,” and that’s okay.

They set up rules, punishments, and rewards. How strict or relaxed the dynamic depends on the relationship.

What Is A “Little” and “Little Space”?

The Little Girl embraces their inner child, or they may have never outgrown it regardless of their age. And that’s why age-play is so common in DDLG.

Littles could act like they are a newborn up to 12 years old. If the age is around 13 to 17, it’s considered a teenager and is referred to as “middle.”

Of course, this age isn’t fixed. The little can change their age anytime.

Littles have needs to be looked after, cared for, and protected by their caregiver. She gives control to Daddy and trusts he will do what’s best for her.

Most littles are submissive. But they could be bratty and bossy as well.

This could be set times for the age-play that serves as a temporary escape from day-to-day adult responsibilities, stress, and boredom.

Related DDLG Terms You Should Know

ABDL — Adult Baby / Diaper Lover

ABDL is a close cousin to DDLG. 

It’s super popular because nothing puts one in a helpless baby state as an adult diaper.

The dynamic is the same as DDLG, just ABDL play always starts when the diaper is being worn. 

It’s like a diaper little space serving as a clear beginning and clear end.

BDSM Switch

Switch is a term used for a person who likes to switch roles. He’s sometimes dominant, sometimes submissive, and has fun in both roles.

In this study, 22.7% of BDSM practitioners identify as switches.

Everyone can switch roles. The woman can be the little girl or Mommy Dom, and the man can be the little boy or Daddy Dom, and so on.

D&S — Dominance & Submission, dom & sub

You’ll hear these terms the most in the BDSM community. 

D&S are DS letters from BDSM.

But even more often, the Dominant is called  – DOM for short, and the Submissive is called – SUB for short.

Oh, and I should mention also: Top and Bottom, which some people use. 

Top is Dominant.

Bottom is Submissive.

Dominance and Submission may include ageplay, but it’s a more general term to indicate how one person takes the Dominant role, and the other obeys.

Dom & Sub play is so popular because you MUST have polarity for a passionate love life.

You need a clear leader and a clear follower. It’s the basis of sexuality – most women are attracted to alpha males, and most men are attracted to submissive women they can care for and ravage.

Daddy Dom needs a woman he can dominate, the same woman needs someone with whom she will be able to let go, especially sexually. 

There is all this talk about man/woman equality, but when it comes to sex life. Equality is boring, polarity is a must for amazing sex.

And sex is the cornerstone of a good relationship. Even if you’re super sweet and supportive in the day-to-day – in the bedroom, you both need polarity.

Headspace

Headspace in BDSM refers to an altered state of mind where you go into a role in the scene. So just like there’s a little space, there’s also a daddy space.

Sinking into a headspace may just be acting for some. But others feel some sort of intoxicating effect as they get into it.

Some practitioners may use triggers as well. A little may suck her thumb or use a pacifier to be in the mood.

Daddies may always be in their daddy space 24/7, while others only activate it when their little is around.

Ultimately, it’s that shift in your mindset as you get into your role—which you’ll feel throughout your body. Of course, everyone’s different, so the experience may not be the same from one person to another.

Master / Slave

This is not really part of DDLG, but I wanted to mention it for you to get the full picture. 

This is the most hardcore roleplay where the Master takes complete ownership of his Slave. 

They are also called Gorean (slave master) and Kajira (a slave girl). This is where you have collars, collar ceremony, training, and a consensual contract between each other. 

It’s also where you are involved with bondage, impact play, humiliation, and degradation in the play.

Source: The Journal of Sex Research

Why Does DDLG & BDSM Turn Me On?

If you’ve enjoyed spanking, punishments, and role-plays, you may wonder and feel guilty that such taboo things turn you on.

Society often views sex as a shameful act. And it’s even more “taboo” when BDSM and other role plays are involved. 

Somehow, this makes it kinkier for some people. 

Additionally, people crave variety. 

If you’ve had sex with the same partner the same way for years, you’ll eventually get less and less interested in sexual intercourse.

Kinks, BDSM, DDLG are answers to this.

When you introduce new plays, new sensations, new accessories, new places or even new partners to your sex life – it comes back to life!

You could also try public sex, tantric sex, vibrating panties in public…etc. Sex toys are the easiest way to add to variety.

Plus, exploring deeper realms of sexual play increases intimacy and connection. 

For example, pain can bond you like nothing else.

Let’s say you are playing DDLG, you’re a little girl, you did something that’s bad for you and your Daddy Dom knows it.

He decides to punish you and bends you over the knee. 

It’s a painful ritual that drives the message. It will release the emotions that you have been suppressing – you may cry.

Afterward when Daddy Dom cuddles you in the aftercare, you’ll both feel more connected than ever.

Plus, pain and pleasure are a magical combination.

Have you ever experienced runner’s high or felt an incredible moment of happiness?

While there are many ways to sexual bliss, people practice kink in order to get that natural high.

Kinks are great to shut off your mind, release shame, and experience a heightened sense of pleasure.

The DDLG play is so popular because it creates POLARITY.

We need someone to take control and someone to submit. We need masculine (active) and feminine (receptive) to achieve sexual balance.

When that balance is not met, passion dies. Often people seek their needs outside of the relationship or settle unhappy with porn.

Supporting Little in DDLG play is easy, and as for Daddy Dom – naturally, extra polarity does well for relationships.

The Step-By-Step Formula For Playing DDLG:

These are the core elements that you should include in your DDLG play. Let’s get to each part one by one:

#1 – DDLG Rules: Communication & Agreement

This is where you negotiate and discuss how you want your play to look like. It’s the most crucial step, so here are some ideas:

• Define your age-play
• Define rules, rewards, punishment
• Define limits, safe words
• Define the Little Girl role
• Define the Daddy Dom role
• Talk about the scenes, accessories & outfits you would like to have

Defining How DDLG Will Look In Your Relationships

It’s important to create your own definition for your DDLG play, which will explain what you’ll do in the Little Space and how The Little role will look like.

It could be something simple as:

Good introductory questions to ask are (mostly to Littles):

• How would Daddy and Little express romantic affection? Would you keep it as a caring play, include romance, or you mix it with sexual?
• How often would you like to play DDLG?
• Do you want to go all in on the play or you would just prefer to play out elements of it like sucking on a pacifier or just wearing age play clothes?
• Do you want to play DDLG in public, where people might overhear or see you? Would it be embarrassing? 
• Is there some special setting that makes entering Little Space?
• Do you enjoy when something unexpectedly makes you feel Little? Can it be re-created intentionally?
• When in little space, how will you behave yourself?
• As little are you bratty, helpful, moody, shy?
• As a Little do you feel submissive to your Daddy Dom?
• Do you have a Little personality different from your everyday self? If so, what are the differences? (same for Daddy Dom)
• What clothing would you like to wear in the little space? (special panties, onesies, diapers)
• Would you be able to do DDLG play without these clothes?
• List 3 characteristics of the ideal Daddy Dom for your Little
• Would you want to use diapering toiletries like baby powder, baby oil, diaper rash cream..?

DDLG Rules & Protocol

There are many incredible opportunities for setting up rules and protocols in DDLG age-play.

Littles’ lives are often defined by limitations, which are fun to break and be punished for.

You can set rules for Little Girl only, or maybe Daddy Dom needs to comply with some of them too.

First of all, decide how you’ll address each other:

Here are some example rules you might wanna borrow:

• Bedtime is 10.00 PM, and when Daddy says it’s time for bed, you must comply.
• Address Daddy Dom only as Daddy / Mr. Bear etc.
• Eat with cute plastic dishes and utensils.
• Always be well mannered, and say “Thank you” and “Please.”
• When your Daddy comes home, greet him with a hug, kiss, and a colored picture.
• Hold hands with your Daddy when crossing the street together.
• Tell Daddy what’s wrong when you feel upset about something.
• When you are with Daddy, don’t tie your own shoes or put on your own seatbelt. Let him do it.
• No drinking or smoking.
• No swearing, no talking back to your Daddy
• Only sit in the backseat of the car.
• Only take bubble baths, no showers.
• Sleep with a Teddy Bear stuffie.
• Suck on your paci whenever using a computer or watching TV.
• Wear diapers to bed.

If rules are too hard to remember, you can also create a simple mantra that you refer to when not knowing how to act.

Create a Simple Mantra Rule

Here are simple examples of a mantra:

• “Daddy knows best.”
• “Sugar & spice & everything nice. That’s what I’m made of.”

Daddy Dom can also create one rule that Little Girl must obey for the day, like “You may only eat veggies and fruits today.”

If you would like to bring this further, you could create a contract like Christian did in 50 Shades of Grey.

BDSM contracts are popular in the community to agree on exactly how relationships will work.

Another idea you could take from the BDSM community is a collaring ceremony. Many DDLG fans like to wear cute collars that indicate the play and submission to their masters.

Daddy Dom responsibilities

Daddy Dom agrees to take care of the Little and commits to treat Little accordingly — teach, reward, punish and nurture.

Daddy Dom makes his desires and commands clear at all times. He disciplines the Little Girl only out of the desire to better her but never out of anger or frustration.

Things Daddy Dom Could Say During The Play:

• “Because I said so.”
• When Little lets a curse word slip out or get too smart with him, he says, “Watch your mouth.”
• When Daddy tells Little to do something, he’ll say, ”Go be a good girl and…”
• When Little tests Daddy Dom, he gives Little the stern look and says, “Daddy doesn’t repeat things twice or accept smart mouths.”
• “That wasn’t a suggestion.”
• “Wanna say that again?”

Little Girl Responsibilities

Little Girl agrees to obey the Daddy’s rules to the best of her ability.

Little Girl will inform the Daddy of all her desires and perceived needs recognizing that Daddy is the better judge of how and if these should be satisfied.

Little commits to speaking respectfully to the Daddy at all times. Little agrees to maintain her appearance (clothes, style, and hair) in a juvenile manner during the play.

In regard to treats and screen time, Little gives up all the rights for her own gratification and passes them up to Daddy Dom.

DDLG Punishments, Discipline and Humiliation

DDLG can also include disciplinary actions like punishments and chores. 

Sometimes Little’s mood changes quickly, and she can be indecisive, bratty, or moody.

Because of that, she needs to be taught discipline and punished.

Safe Word 

If you are into punishments, then it’s a very good idea to establish a safe word. Safe words are used by 90.5% of BDSM practitioners regardless of how intense or extreme the BDSM behavior is.

You use your safe word if your partner goes too far.

Safe words could be a word or physical, non-verbal cues to end the play. They could also signal that you’re nearing your limits.

One popular safe word is “Mercy.”

But even better is traffic light safe words:

With these safe words, Daddy Dom can ask playfully during rough punishment — “What color is my Little? Is she doing OK?”.

Little can easily tell how she’s feeling without interrupting the play.

Safe words are crucial as simply saying “No” or “Stop” could be part of the play.

#2 –  Little Space: How To Enter DDLG Scene Play?

Little Space doesn’t need to be rigid. It can also just happen without any scenes, but in this case, I’ll talk about more deliberate plays and full-blown DDLG scene plays.

There are 3 ways that can help enter into Little Space:

• Through objects, outfits, accessories (example: when in diaper – that’s the little space)
• Through immersive roleplay and specific scenes
• Through hypnosis or guided meditation

#4 – It happens naturally, there are no set scenes. Little just naturally enters the Little space, and it just happens.

Think of what kind of scenes you would like to experience.

Usually, the easiest way to enter the little space is through some activity – like bathing, doing the chore, watching a cartoon, and then putting on the outfit of a diaper, for example.

Other objects could be: a blankie, sippy cup, baby key chain toy, onesies, pacifiers, and school uniform.

A few popular scenes for little space are: dressing/undressing and bathing, feeding, doing chores, coloring the book, and doing a tea party with stuffies.

And here are some Little Space-related questions to ask:

• Do you want Daddy Dom to make all decisions for Little when in Little Space?
• Are there certain places that make you feel like a Little Girl?
• Is there something that might pull you out of Little Space? Like making decisions? (a good trick for this… answer from Little space: shuffle your feed, look at your toes and mumble, “I don’t know.”)
• What are the things you would like to do during the little space?
• Do you have imaginary friends? Are you friends with your stuffed animals and toys?
• Does your Little self have chores? Homework? If so, do you have a good attitude about it?
• Do you enjoy using DDLG to motivate you to do boring work like paying bills and having a reward for it?

How To Design Your Own Little Space: The Scene Elements

DDLG play will work better if you take the time to set the mood.

Make use of all five senses:

So what are some activities you might play during your DDLG play?

These are some examples—from most innocent to kinky and sexual.

A Massive List of DDLG Little Space Activities:

Finally, there is a huge variety of BDSM dark age play activities you can do to push the limits.

Like the best rope bondage, deepthroating, best nipple clamps, best cock cages (if the woman is dominating one), fisting, etc.

But that’s out of the scope of this article.

#3 – DDLG Aftercare & Debrief

Aftercare is a BDSM term for taking emotional and physical care of your partner after the scene is completed.

Aftercare’s purpose is to help you and your partner to recover after an intense BDSM play or sex session. 

If your DDLG play is fun or relaxing, you might not see the point in aftercare, but still, I would really recommend you look at DDLG play as 3 stages: agreement, little space play, aftercare.

In BDSM, you would separate aftercare and debrief, but in DDLG, you can easily blend both.

Aftercare is useful because it helps you both get back into the real world. It could be a special ritual for ending the play that can make the whole play far more satisfying.

Instead of being upset that the play is over, you will be still looking forward to your aftercare.

Cuddling is a popular way to finish aftercare, but it’s sweet so it doesn’t really interrupt the DDLG play.

It’s better to do something “adult” that eases you back to reality – like having a cup of tea, changing into adult or normal clothes, and having a conversation.

DDLG Debrief

It’s always important to discuss what you liked, didn’t like, and what can be improved about your play so your next time would get even better and more enjoyable. 

Debrief is especially important if you tried something new like intense punishment so you would know if that’s something that you both want to go further with. 

Debrief is a great time for this because you’re not yet back in your logical mind space, your mood is elevated and memories fresh.

Just make sure there is a clear conclusion to play – like say, thank you, hug your partner.

If you want a quick checklist to refer back, I made this handy Daddy Dom / Little Girl Characteristics Map.

Download it as an image, or here’s a free PDF (right click: Save as)

P.S. If you enjoyed this guide, please pass it along to someone else who would benefit from it. I would appreciate it a lot.

But we’re not finished yet…

Source: The Journal of Sex Research

What About Solo DDLG?

You can definitely explore solo DDLG and be a little with no daddy or mommy.

Sure, it’s a dynamic of power exchange between practitioners. But you can get into your little space without a daddy. In fact, many littles start exploring this way.

You may want to get some pacifiers and onesies, watch cartoons, paint, and color, or cuddle with your stuffed toys.

Plus, you can get in touch with the DDLG community if you need help or support.

The Best DDLG Communities & Forums

Starting with DDLG can be a little confusing. There’s not much information about it, so piecing information together could be challenging.

Over time, I found several incredible communities where you can talk to like-minded people, ask questions and find some cool quotes, outfit ideas, and so on.

Once you join these communities, you really feel like you belong!

First of all, the best (and best-managed) communities to be on Reddit.

Overall for any intelligent sexual conversations, Reddit is hands down the best place to go. (here are more sex discussion Subreddits).

For example /r/sex has 1.1m subscribers.

But we are here for DDLG communities, so let me share my top #7:

Word of Warning: Just know that most of the SubReddits are NSFW (but super cute).

#4 – DDLG Memes (25,000 likes)

There are lots of Facebook pages and groups for DDLG, though FB slowly bans them as they don’t support sexual content there. 

Here, you can find the cutest pages to funny sexual memes. But, overall, DDLG quotes and memes is a great source of ideas to do or things to say in DDLG play.

#3 – DDLG SubReddit (15.5K members)

An 18+ subreddit dedicated to those in the DD/lg (Daddy Dom/little girl BDSM dynamic) community.

Caregivers, littles, switches, and anyone curious are welcome here to share pictures, videos, start discussions, and make friends.

#2 – DDLG Forum (44K members)

This is the biggest non-Reddit-related forum about DDLG.

The most active sections are:

• Little Space — a safe space for all littles to communicate and interact
• Personals — a place to find your perfect someone if you don’t have one
• DDLG discussion — a place to talk about DDlg and related topics

#1 – Little Space Subreddit (30.6K members)

A place for littles, middles, caregivers, and anyone interested in CGL, DDLG, or ABDL dynamics and lifestyles.

The biggest DDLG community online (not including BDSM…).

DDLG Shop: Outfits, Accessories, Lingerie & Diapers

Cute DDLG Outfits, Pajamas & Onesies

The easiest way to slip into DDLG play is through cute outfits.

I did my best to filter through the fluff and find the best and highest recommended onesies and outfits available!

From the absolute cuteness to kinky sexiness, outfits can really spice up your relationships, I can attest to it! Tried and true.

DDLG Sexy Lingerie & Cute Underwear

Now, what could be a better surprise to your Daddy than sexy, kinky underwear that suddenly appears out of nowhere?

Give these as a gift to your Little Girl and she’ll be eternally grateful! 

Plus, the best thing with lingerie – both Daddy and Little can really enjoy them!

ABDL  & DDLG Play Diapers, Pull-Ups & Training Pants

Why are diapers so popular between DDLG and ABDL players? Because there is nothing quite humiliating and baby-like than wearing a diaper. 

The polarity is clear. When one is wearing a diaper, she’s a Little – no question about it. You can pick between one-time diapers and reusable pull-ups and training pants.

DDLG Accessories, Collars, Pacifiers, Stockings

Now, finally this is the holy grail of misc accessories starting from cute pacis to kinky furry tail butt plugs!

Accessories help you get into the role mentally and physically.

Pacifiers, naturally, are for babies, and seeing them worn by the sub immediately signals her being in her little mode. A collar shows ownership where the wearer is the pet or the slave.

You can also explore more types of play using accessories as a start to see if it’s something you and your partner is interested in.

The Best DDLG Quizzes, BDSM And Sex Tests

Quizzes and tests are great ways to learn more about yourself and can give you pointers that you wouldn’t have thought of otherwise.

Here are 3 tests I would recommend.

#1 – Discover Your Kink BDSM Test

This test will help you learn your natural sexual preferences and the ways you get aroused or turned off.

It’s extremely helpful to take together with your partner and discuss and you’ll discover that your relationships will transform inside and outside of the bedroom!

#2 – Discover Your Emotional Little Girl’s Age

This is a great little DDLG quiz to take for littles to help them figure out what’s their perfect little age. 

#3 – What Kind Of Little Girl Are You?

This test on others will help Little to understand which Little role fits them the most. Bratty, sweet, or princessy? 

FAQs

Is DDLG Considered Pedophilia?

No. DDLG practitioners, particularly age players, are not pedophiles. 

A sub (Little Girl) is a consenting adult, not a child. A Daddy Dom wants his Little Girl, NOT little girls in general.

It’s a dynamic of power exchange with no real children involved. Simple as that.

Is DDLG Considered Incest?

No.

Again, this is a common misconception.

The calling of “Daddy” and “Mommy” is merely a term that signifies a parental figure or the person with “authority.” And that creates the power gap between the little and the caregiver.

So, first of all, calling the caregiver “daddy” doesn’t mean you’re pretending they’re your actual father.

Second, it shouldn’t be incest unless you’re actually related, and that’s your REAL, BIOLOGICAL father or mother.

Does DDLG Come From Personal Father or Mother Issues?

It may or not be. 

However, people who practice DDLG relationships shouldn’t be generalized as people with father or mother issues—especially as there’s no evidence or unreputable data to indicate that to be 100% true for each and every person who practices it.

Is DDLG Different From ABDL and Petplay?

DDLG could involve age-play to ANY age—not just a newborn. So the age may be 6-12 for a little or teenage for the middle.

Meanwhile, ABDL (Adult Baby Diaper Lover) is only for adults who regress to baby age. And they may do it alone, even without a caregiver.

On the other hand, petplay could have similarities with DDLG. There is still a power exchange and roleplay involved where the little is the “pet,” and the Dom is the “master.” 

But it’s more animalistic—like kittenplay or puppy play where one may be leashed, walked, caged, and petted.

Bringing It All Together

Many misconceptions surround DDLG, as it’s easy to misunderstand for people who lack knowledge about it. However, there is no shame in it if it’s something you want to explore as long as everyone involved is an adult and there is consent.

If you benefited from this article, please share it around! 

Oh…and if something is missing or unclear leave a comment down below! I’ll be more than happy to help, assist, and support you!

Cheerio 😉

See you in a DDLG playground somewhere!

P.S. If you want to further enhance your BDSM & DDLG play – you can explore more sex furnitures and the most extreme sex toys like some fuck machines!